| Thursday, September 10, 2009 |
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I don't post much. I really wish I posted more. I hate when things start to feel like work though! So, I post when I feel like it. Or when I have to vent/talk. This post, like the last is about my Gramma, whom I miss dearly. She died almost two years ago and I think about that day and the days to follow it hurts like it always has. My grandmother, Caroline Martinez Died of a heart attack on October 9th 2007. Sometimes it feels like it was so long ago, and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. Every time I think of that day my heart breaks all over again. It doesn't help that ever since she died a piece of my heart went missing. It went with her to heaven and that's where it will stay. I guess it's more around this time of year that it starts to hurt more. I think of her everyday... Every single day, but this is when everything started. It feels like the weight of the world is laying on my chest and nothing can help it. I know she's happy now and with God, and I am so selfish to want her back but I do. There are times when I find myself wanting to call her still just to ask how her day was. I know I can't in life but I can in my dreams. I don't know that I will ever talk about those last days I spent with her in the hospital. All those moments just between us. I treasure those moments so dearly. No words can be said that can express the way I felt... Joy, Pain, Happiness, scared those don't even begin to cover all the emotions I felt sitting there with her. But I do miss her. My heart is broken and always will be. I know she's there watching over me, and now she's always around whenever I need her. I just wish I could hear her voice again. Wish I could touch her and hug her. Wish she was here with me. I refuse to fight back the tears I have for her. Tear's of happiness that she is no longer suffering. Tear's of sadness that I have because I miss her so much.
I love you grandma... The memories I have with you from the time I was a little girl to now will always be cherished. Tell god I said hi and watch over my mom and dad. I know they miss you too. I know everyone does. We all hold you very close in our hearts and minds. The caring, kindness, and generosity you have shown to us and everyone who was ever lucky enough to be part of your life will never be forgotten. You were the most amazing woman I have ever known. You were willing to give up what little you had to help anyone who needed it. You are my HERO. You will always be my hero. And I'd like to think that I am at where I am today because you believed in me and you still believe in me. I love you so much, more than words can say and more than all the stars in the sky. Sleep tight with the angles. Sending you my love from far far away. I hope you can feel it like I feel you in my heart everyday =] |
Slid down the rainbow at 8:18 PM  |
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| Where To? |
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| Posts of Note |
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| I don't need to go over the rainbow but I'd like to go to these places |
(In no order)...
- France
- Rome
- China
- Egypt
- Fiji
- Niagra falls
- New York
- Australia
- Hawaii
- Africa
- Spain
- Ireland
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